father knows blog

Bun In the Oven Scale

npz — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:16:31 +0000

A pregnancy scale to tell how pregnant your wife is — she’d love this. And by ‘love this’ I mean ‘kill me if I considered buying it’.

From Nerd Approved

Baby Monitor that Plays Your Voice When You’re Not There

npz — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 03:02:49 +0000

The premise of this Baby Monitor, is that you can pre-record your voice saying things like “You’re daddy’s little rocket scientist” and “I will disown you if you become a Republican” and it can be programmed to playback when you’re not around, or the little one is with a nanny or the babysitter, etc.

You can also load it up with MP3s — so they can jam out to the latest TI album. For now, only available in the UK. :[

(Via Engadget)

Masturbation Won’t Destroy Your Sperm

npz — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:45:44 +0000

You know, I am about 95% certain my high school biology teacher told our class, more specifically the young men in our class, that if we masturbated too much, our sperm would die and we wouldn’t be able to make children — that thought has stuck in my head for the last 15 years or so. Ridiculous, right? Yes. It is. Maybe it’s some old wive’s tale to prevent men from masturbating too much — But I’m here to tell you that’s not true. It’s official. You can masturbate and your sperm will be fine. So get to it. You read it on the Internet so it must be true. Just don’t get caught.

The Bun

npz — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 18:26:42 +0000

Currently my wife is about 8 weeks pregnant -she was nearly 4 weeks pregnant when that first pee test was given — I’ve learned more about periods in the last few weeks than I felt I ever would.

She is tired. She is moody. She goes to bed at 9pm now. She throws up in the morning on a fairly regular basis. She pretty much feels like ass 24/7. Meanwhile, I kick back and feel totally fine. It seems kind of unfair - but that’s the way it was dealt, I guess. The best I feel like I can do is make sure she has everything she needs - the house is clean, she has something to nibble on, she takes her vitamin every day, and the remote control is nearby.

Holy Crap! My Boys Can Swim!

npz — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 16:34:33 +0000

There is clearly one dark line and a very faint line right next to it. My first reaction when seeing this was “My wife is clearly not pregnant — those lines are not the same.” Maybe I was in denial — maybe I was a little overwhelmed, maybe I refused to believe that a $15 stick of plastic would be able to determine such a monumental diagnosis — but two pee tests and a blood test a week later confirmed it: There is a bun in my wife’s oven.

So here I am, sitting in front of my laptop telling you strangers this in blog form. In my less than 3 minutes of searching, I didn’t really feel like I connected to any ‘daddy blogs’. (BTW this will be a ‘dad blog’ — not a ‘daddy blog’. ‘Daddy’ is a word for kids and Mommys. We’ll say “Dad” here. Or Father. Or Pop. Or Pops.

I won’t be giving daily updates either — if I did, here’s what you’d read:

Day 10 - My wife is tired and threw up.
Day 11 - My wife is tired and threw up.
and so forth.

But what I hope to share with you is what I learn along the way in these next months of having my first child - what works, what doesn’t, what food my wife’s craving, thoughts, ideas, feelings and all that shit. I am very excited to be having a kid and at the same exact time completely freaking out. Soon-to-be and new Dads: Join me as we freak out together.